Two words that you should never hear

I've been doing a lot of pondering and strategizing and scheming lately. It's all part of my annual planning cycle for my business. And, as a result, I've been seeking advice from people who happen to wander into my pondering. Many people have a lot of good suggestions, ideas and help to offer, and I thank each and every one of them. But sometimes people get carried away and think they can tell you what to do...always a bad idea!

In particular, there are two words that you have the right to absolutely ignore when someone dares to say them to you: "must" and "can't".

"You must" do this: this recently came up when I was trying to determine if I could afford to participate in a project on top of all the things I am working on for my business (oh, and all the stuff I do at home too). I was told I must participate! Ok, the last time someone said "you must" to me was when I was 10 years old and my Mother was telling me to make my bed. (Note: I don't make my bed anymore except when I have company or when I wash the sheets).

"You must" takes all the energy out of wanting to help people, wanting to contribute something unique. "You must" means that the other person thinks they know better how to run your life. If you ever hear this, you have my permission (as if you need it!) to totally wipe it from your brain, because it can cause you to make a rash decision: either to do what you "must" to please (or shut up) the other person, or to not do what you "must" in rebellion.

"You can't" is also something that I heard recently when I was discussing the projects I want to launch for the next year. "You can't" means I don't have the energy to complete everything I set in my plan, it means I am not capable. NOT TRUE! And it's not true for you either. Anything we set our hearts, minds and resources to can be done. Sure, maybe we need help or some creative plan to make it all happen, but that doesn't mean that we can't! If anyone dares say this to you, I suggest that you use it to drive your determination to make it happen.

Remember that you are the creator of your dreams and you are the one who knows how to realize them. You know where best to put your energy, and no-one, even the wisest person on the planet, knows better than you. Good luck with your scheming and dreaming!

Croyez-vous au Père Noël?

Le Père Noël est arrivé à Montréal samedi. Une super-belle journée pour un défilé, le pauvre a dû être un peu chaud dans son grand manteau rouge. On discutait de ça à l'heure du dîner, c'est une discussion qui recommence chaque année avec les enfants de mon conjoint et leurs amis : crois-tu au Père Noël?

Moi j'y crois. Les jeunes, hah, eux sont complètement cyniques et rient quand je leur dis que j'y crois. Mais il faut se demander : comment sait-on si le Père Noël existe ou n'existe pas? Peut-on le prouver oui ou non? Les jeunes répliquent que ce sont les parents qui donnent les cadeaux. Bonne réponse, mais ça ne prouve pas que le Père Noël n'existe pas, ça veut tout simplement dire qu'il n'a pas laissé de cadeaux chez eux.

Mais cette discussion est plus grande que ça. C'est une discussion sur la foi. Ah, la foi, ça revient souvent dans mes blogues! Croire au Père Noël c'est croire en quelque chose qui, logiquement, ne devrait pas être vrai. C'est croire en quelque chose de merveilleux, mais pas très pratique. C'est de retourner en enfant, quand nous faisons confiance dans le grand mystère, quand nous savons que même si nous avions été un peu tanants durant l'année, il y aura des cadeaux mystérieux en desssous de l'arbre. Quand on était ados, mon père faisait un gros "Ho Ho Ho" pour nous réveiller le matin de Noël. On savait bien que c'était lui, mais.....ça donnait quand même un petit frisson : et si c'était vraiment le Père Noël qui prenait un café avec mon père après avoir fini son boulot?

Ça fait du bien de croire dans le Père Noël. Ça enlève un peu de responsabilité de nos dos. Et ça permet d'envelopper une fête bien trop commercialisée d'une couche de mystère, de magie. Ça fait étinceler la neige (qui n'a pas encore tombée ici à Montréal!), ça fait briller les chandelles un peu plus fort, ça donne aux chorales et chanteurs de cantiques et chants de Noël un peu plus d'oumph.

Et, finalement, ça nous permet de croire. D'utiliser un outil -- la foi -- qui nous permet de mieux vivre. Ça enlève le besoin de tout rationaliser. Alors, durant le temps des fêtes, ayont un peu de foi, laissons-nous croire au Père Noël. Au pire, ça pourrait dire un cadeau de plus en dessous de l'arbre!

Keeping healthy

I don't generally use my blog to promote particular products or services that I use. I figure most people don't want to read yet another promotion for something they don't need right now. But in the midst of all the H1N1 panic, I thought I'd put in a good word for keeping healthy.

You can believe what you wish about getting vaccinated against the H1N1 virus. Some believe so fervently that they jump ahead of the lines, being vaccinated before people who are more vulnerable. Others refuse absolutely to get vaccinated. And there are even those who believe that this whole H1N1 thing is a conspiracy by the drug companies to sell more vaccine. Whatever, actually it doesn't really matter what is behind all this talk and activity, just one more sign that people would prefer that someone tells them what to do rather than do their own homework.

What is important, however, is staying in touch with your body and providing it the best possible environment to be able to keep up with your mind and spirit. Again, lots of differing opinions on what that means. Yes, you should do your own homework. You should be in communication with your body, listening to its needs and when it tells you of excesses. You should do the research to decide for yourself what is right for you. But there are some basic facts (yes, I said facts because time and again studies have proven that they are true) that should be able to guide you in the right direction:

1. Get enough sleep: that means between 7 and 9 hours in bed, not doing anything else but sleeping; and if you are not sleeping when you should be, find a solution, whether it be meditation, more exercise during the day, a relaxation regime before going to bed, writing out your worries so that they don't bug you during the night, and perhaps, once you've exhausted all other options, pharmaceutical help (have you tried Melatonin?).
2. Eat and drink well: lots of fresh food, ie fruit and vegetables; keep the fats and sugars to a minimum and try to stay away from processed (prepared or restaurant) food; listen to your body, eat when you are hungry and don't when you are not; oh, and drink lots of water.
3. Exercise: ok, I know what those of you who know me are saying (sorry, I haven't really done any exercise in several years); but my body is saying loud and clear "give me something to do, help me be strong"; focus on exercise that stretches, strengthens and helps you do what you want (for example, more arm strength would help my gardening).
4. Keep your mind and spirit healthy: there are so many links between the physical and psychological/emotional/spiritual sides of us; keeping one healthy helps keep the other healthy; again, this might take a bit of research on your part, but if you listen to yourself, you already know some things that help you keep mind/spirit healthy; I have a few: gardening, reading, watching documentaries.
5. Nutritional supplements: ok, here comes the commercial; actually again I recommend you do the research; but so many articles and studies come out on a regular basis stating that we don't have high enough levels of so many nutrients that are vital to keeping healthy; our food sources (even when they are fresh) are depleted of the vitamins and minerals that they once abounded with; just last week another study came out saying that Vitamin D is critical to avoiding and treating breast cancer; but do me a favour: PLEASE do not think that taking the supplements that you buy at the grocery store will do the job; these contain no more than 10% of what your body needs to be healthy and they don't always contain what the bottle says they do; do the research, try high quality supplements, like the ones I use (see www.usana.com), give it a month or two, then compare the before and after.

So that's my advice for the day. Decide what you wish about H1N1, but remember that the winter season is also about the common (but extremely annoying) cold, flus, bronchitis, asthma attacks, and the effects of reduced sun hours. Take care of yourself!

(Gotta go now, it's sunny and time for my dose of natural vitamin D to supplement the one I take from a bottle!)

"On a tous une raison d'aimer...

... de croire, d'espérer" (merci, Roch Voisine pour ces belles paroles!).

J'ai cette chanson dans ma tête; ça m'arrive souvent d'avoir une chanson qui se répète dans ma tête toute la journée. Des fois je me réveille avec une chanson, des fois c'est quelque chose qui joue sur la radio dans l'auto ou bien je vois des mots qui me font penser à des paroles.

C'est vendredi et j'ai la tête dans la brume. J'ai mal dormi et je ne suis pas très alerte. Un peu comme le temps, gris, maussade, sombre. Non, je ne suis pas déprimée ni en humeur noire. Je profite de ma journée dans la brume pour reposer ma tête. Nous avons parlé dans un blogue la semaine passée de l'importance de regénérer notre énergie. Bien, je crois que c'est aussi important de fermer la machine de temps en temps pour la laisser se reposer, pour mieux la repartir demain. Comme un ordinateur qui doit être fermé de temps en temps pour clairer la mémoire (je m'excuse auprès de mes lecteurs qui connaissent les ordis plus que moi, peut-être on a pas besoin de faire ça?).

Alors, que faire avec une journée comme celle-ci? Même si notre esprit conscient est un peu endormi, nous sommes toujours en train d'absorber, de contempler, de travailler, de faire des liens, de créer. C'est tout simplement que nous ne réagissons pas autant que normal. Et ça fait du bien. Honnêtement, nous réagissons trop normalement, et certainement trop vite.

Alors, aujourd'hui j'écoute et j'observe. J'écoute tous les messages que je manque quand je suis en mode "action". Les droles de coincidences, les choses que je ne considère pas quand je suis trop occupée, les messages qui sont passés entre deux phrases ou par un regard inattendu. Un sourire, un appel, une chanson qui répète des paroles que j'ai tant besoin d'entendre... et je sais que tous ces messages contribuent au processus créatifs qui travaillent continuellement à l'intérieur de moi.

Donnez-vous une journée de vrai repos. Ne réveillez pas votre cerveau demain (ou dimanche si vous êtes trop occupés demain). Fermez la partie réaction et observez...absorbez.

J'ai hâte à voir ce qui m'attend demain...peut-être une nouvelle idée pour un projet, un modèle à suivre pour vendre mes livres, une manière d'organiser mon bureau pour qu'il reste propre pour plus que deux jours, des mots à partager avec quelqu'un qui cherche un peu d'encouragement! Mais je sais que demain sera une journée extraordinaire, comme si ma tête était complètement renouvellée.

Je vous reviens en début de semaine avec les résultats!

Bonne fin-de-semaine!

What's right with the world

Lately I've been noticing that I've been saying "what's wrong with the world" a lot. I guess that's not very hard. What with the drama created by the H1N1 virus scare, crooked politicians and even more crooked business people, appalling customer service wherever you turn, companies downsizing to stay afloat in these challenging economic times and airline pilots overshooting their destination, it's no wonder that we easily find a lot of "wrong" things.

But what we forget is that the "right" things are all still there, they are just hiding. Hiding behind people's craving for dramatic news stories and our natural ability to remember negative things more easily than positive things. "Right" things are often more subtle, closer to home and easily forgotten because they make our lives easier, not harder.

Last week I wrote a blog about turning around a difficult day. I didn't hesitate to mention all the things that had gone wrong that day. Well, today I'm going to mention a bunch of things that have gone right since then:

• a friend who really needed to sell his house to fund his life purpose posted a message on Facebook last night: two offers on the house, one was accepted and pending a home inspection on the weekend, the house is sold!
• the ever elusive perfect bookcase that I mentioned in my blog last week has been found, bought (at a great price!), delivered and installed; as a bonus, the books it was meant to house fit perfectly; (in honour of my sister Jackie, I arranged them "a la Martha Stewart")!
• I received the long-awaited proof of my book; it actually looks like a real book with my name on the front cover!
• I learned how to make spring rolls and Chinese dumplings...and they were fabulous!
• we managed to close our pool for the season before the weather turns very cold and snowy!
• an opportunity to turn theoretical increased value into real money has presented itself at a very propitious moment!
• three interesting people from my past have reconnected with me!

I could go on and on; and, in fact, you should too. I challenge you to spend 5 minutes writing out all the good things going on in your world. Did you run out of paper? Let's take the challenge of ignoring all the bad things in our world today. For 24 hours, every time bad news comes up (that isn't a personal emergency that needs to be addressed), let's simply ignore it. Of course, that means not talking about most of the things we talk about, probably not reading the newspaper, not tuning on our favorite high-drama TV show, not posting our latest whine on Facebook, etc.

I bet that we'll find that we are saying "how did all this good stuff end up in my life" far more often than what we were saying before this exercise.

Regénérer notre énergie

J'ai donné beaucoup d'énergie cette semaine. Soit que c'était lors d'un évènement de réseautage où j'aidais les gens à se rencontrer et à réseauter d'une façon plus "humaine", ou que c'était pour accompagner un client lors d'une rencontre avec la banque, ou d'animer une séance de "brainstorming", ou simplement d'encourager un ami qui commence à manquer de confiance dans son cheminement.

Cependant, j'ai reçu de l'énergie aussi. De mon conjoint qui m'a aidé à passer à travers une nuit d'inquiétude, de mon grand ami Serge qui m'encourage à travailler mon côté plus créatif, d'un collègue qui m'a raconté une expérience semblable à la mienne et qui a bien tourné. Et puis, je me donne la permission aujourd'hui, vendredi, de prendre du temps pour regénérer de l'énergie pour la fin-de-semaine et la semaine qui s'en vient.

C'est très important de comprendre que nous ne sommes pas des sources infinies d'énergie. Il faut trouver les moyens de regénérer cette énergie que nous donnons sans cesse à notre environnement. Pour moi, c'est un peu de temps toute seule, peut-être de la musique, de la réflexion, et une série d'activités énergisantes : la rédaction de mon prochain info-lettre, un tour dans le spa, un peu de jardinage, un bon souper de "comfort food" (mmm, la lasagne de Serge est très bonne!), une soirée de lecture, me coucher quand je suis fatiguée (et non quand l'horloge dit que c'est le temps).

Aujourd'hui, prenez quelques minutes pour identifier les activités qui vous redonnent de l'énergie. Peut-être c'est aller courir, prendre une marche dans les feuilles qui tombent, jaser avec un(e) ami(e), lire un chapitre d'un livre inspirant, résoudre un problème au travail... ça peut être n'importe quoi. Ensuite, donnez-vous la permission de faire une de ces activités. Vous verrez que c'est beaucoup plus facile de combler les besoins des autres et de donner de l'énergie quand vous en avez regénérer.

Bonne fin-de-semaine!

I'm trendy! (I think)

Ok, this is just weird. I've never been a really trendy person. Don't bother too much with fashion trends (except when I was in high school -- how can a girl not follow fashion trends in high school?)...never been one to watch trendy TV shows (I have NEVER watched an episode of 24)...voted left of centre in Alberta (I don't think I have to explain that one)...I don't have the latest gadgets...I just replaced my old stove with a plain black one (gasp, not stainless steel???).

I had a few moments to spare today before a meeting and stopped in at a magazine shop. And there was Oprah staring out at me (her magazine, not her!). Oprah epitomizes trendy. She creates trends. She recommends books and they immediately become best sellers. She invites experts from The Secret on her show and they become huge stars. Tom Cruise freaks out on her show and everyone starts to wonder about him. Oprah = Trend.

So, I figured, might as well see what she has to say. The biggest headline on the front cover was about finding your life purpose. Huh! Those of you who are familiar with the book I am writing will remember that this will be the topic of my next chapter summary (due to come out this week). Ok, I say, interesting coincidence. Then I leaf through the first few pages (skipping the fashion ads) and notice that one of the contributors on this same subject is Alain de Botton, which normally would mean nothing to me, except that I happen to be reading one of his books (the Architecture of Happiness), which I bought for recreational reading and not reading associated with my book. Go figure!

I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that everything happens for a reason, in fact a good reason. All the events in our lives occur to either inspire us, to move us into action or to reward us. So, these references to my book and my reading are not just random. They mean something. The tricky part is that we don't always figure out what they mean, but we are still supposed to use them. So, this could be encouraging me to continue writing; it could be a sign that once my book is finished, I may indeed get that spot on Oprah's TV show; it could suggest that the way I have changed my thinking is starting to line up with a trend; it could simply be reinforcement that I am supposed to trust, to believe that the universe is working along with me to help me accomplish my goals.

It actually doesn't matter what it means. What matters is that I use these "coincidences" as inspiration to keep on doing what I am doing, to learn from people who also think the way I think, and to profit from the great exposure Oprah has to move my message forward.

Have you noticed any interesting coincidences today? Are there messages that you have received that are inspiring, motivating you to act on your goals, rewarding you for doing "the right thing"? Once you start looking, trust me, these messages are everywhere!

Positive Energy

It's all nice and fine to promote and write a blog about positive energy. On good days, I write about stuff I hope can help people live well and bring positivity into their world. But I wonder how many of you might have read my blog on a day when things just weren't going all that well, and you said to yourself: "sure, it's easy for her, she didn't experience the day I did!".

Well, you have a point. Because I'm having that kind of day today. First of all, I learned something at a business breakfast this morning that I SHOULD have known; in fact, I suspect the person that told me probably thought I was incredibly naive and inexperienced not to have known this fact. So, strike 1: embarrassment.

Then I got home to find an extremely long insurance form I needed to fill out with some questions that I simply didn't understand. Legal terminology in any language is already a challenge, and given that two thirds of my business life has been in an English environment, I have to admit to not being able to figure the French form out. Strike 2: feelings of inadequacy.

And then, I've been looking for a bookcase for a friend of mine and just can't find the right one at the right price that isn't already sold. Strike 3: frustration.

By now, I should just give up and climb back into bed (did I mention it is raining?). But I can't. Why? Because you are out there, having the same kind of days as I am, and it would be terribly hypocritical for me to give up when I'm telling you not to. And, when I give myself 5 minutes to calm down and reconsider the situations I'm living today, I actually can imagine resetting my energy. Like they say in The Secret (the part where they show the woman stubbing her toe as she gets out of bed and then ripping her pantyhose), you can turn your energy around. It is a matter of CHOICE.

So, how to do this. First of all, what I am grateful for in all this mess? Well, at least I found out the important information that caused strike 1 now and not 10 years from now. The woman who told me was polite enough not to laugh at me, so she allowed me to be embarrassed in the privacy of my own car. Insurance form: maybe my frustration will serve as an encouragement for the insurance business to accept a trend that has started in business, which is to develop legal documents in "plain language", you know, words that the rest of us can understand. In fact, I will suggest this to them when I fax back the incomplete form. As for the bookcase, at least I don't have to drive across town in rainy weather today and can catch up on other work; the right bookcase is out there, it just hasn't found us yet.

Ok, gratitude helps me see the situation as not so bad. Now to complete the shift to good (and even great), I'm going to do something positive, something that uses what I've learned this morning, that moves me forward on my path. Of all the selling points I use in promotion of my business, the one I believe most in is the fact that I am just like you; I'm not the ultra-successful star, the one that was featured in CEO Magazine or The Secret; I'm not super rich, driving a Mercedes to meetings and checking the time on my $1000 watch; I'm not especially calm or in a Zen state 24 hours a day, like the monks from Tibet. I think being a normal person with normal challenges gives me credibility. It allows me to suggest tools and techniques to try to be more positive. It permits me to recommend solutions to my clients, because I live what they are living.

So the positive thing that I am doing is to write this blog; and then I will work on my next newsletter presenting a new chapter of the book I'm writing. My book, for those of you who don't know, is about surfing above the waves of daily life, instead of drowning under them. So, I'm pulling out my surf board, grabbing another coffee (decaf) and setting out to make the most of this day.

Oh, and the best part? My friend of the bookcase is a great chef and made us Beef Barley Soup: supper will be fabulous!

Expérience

Les sociétés anciennes vénéraient leurs membres plus âgés, ceux qui avaient plus d'expérience de vie. Les raisons étaient nombreuses : les aînés avaient vécu toutes sortes de situations, avaient vu des temps de guerre et de paix, de prospérité et de difficulté, de bonheur et de tristesse. Ils avaient pris beaucoup de décisions, et avaient vu les conséquences de leurs choix. Ils avaient rencontrer toutes sortes de personnes et savaient à qui faire confiance et de qui se méfier.

Mais aujourd'hui tout a changé. La plupart des sociétés du monde développé mettent leurs aînés de côté, font semblant qu'ils ont rien à dire et évitent leurs conseils. Nous valorisons les jeunes, avec leurs connaissances technologiques, leur capacité d'être "multi-tasker", leur amour des nouvelles idées, leur désir de saisir les nouvelles tendances. Les médias cherchent à les captiver, les marketeurs essayent de les intéresser à leurs produits, les employeurs cherchent à les embaucher...

Cependant, il faut penser : avons-nous vraiment raison de passer à côté de toute l'expérience qu'une génération de personnes pourrait nous offrir? Prenons un exemple : hier j'ai finalement accepté que mon four ne fonctionne pas; ça fait depuis l'été passé qu'il ne veut pas allumer quand c'est humide (c'est toujours humide à Montréal!). Quoi faire? devrais-je appeler quelqu'un pour essayer de le réparer? Ou bien investir dans une nouvelle cuisinière? Et comment savoir si ma décision est la bonne? Et puis, l'idée m'est venue : je vais appeler ma mère. Elle a beaucoup plus d'expérience dans l'achat des électroménagers et dans leur réparation. Et puis, suite à quelques questions, elle m'a conseillé avec confiance : achète une nouvelle cuisinière, tu ne vas pas le regretter!

Pourquoi donc ne pas utiliser l'outil de l'expérience plus souvent? Pourquoi ne pas avoir des mentors dans toutes les domaines : l'industrie, la gestion de nos villes, notre province et notre pays (n'est-ce pas ça, le Sénat au Canada?), l'éducation de nos jeunes, la santé? Pourquoi ne pas mettre nos "aînés" au travail, pour nous aider à ne pas faire les mêmes erreurs, à réagir avec sagesse, à comprendre comment communiquer?

Je vous laisse avec cette pensée : comment pourrons-nous incorporer nos "sages" dans notre quotidien? Je vous encourage de partager vos pensées dans ce blogue.

You can't push rain

What do I mean by not being able to push rain? I mean that you can't push it back up into the sky when you want the ground to stay dry (or when you don't want to ruin a good hair day!), and you can't push it down harder when you want more moisture to seep into the ground. Being from the prairies (even though I'm a city girl), we talked a lot about weather when I was young. It comes from having a major part of your economy driven by agriculture. I guess the analogy stuck with me.

So, what does pushing (or not pushing) rain have to do with life? Quite simply, there are times when we just have to let things happen when and where they do. Because they are going to happen no matter what you try to do to stop them. Here's an example: municipal elections are coming up in November in the province of Quebec. The director of the elections process put out a video on YouTube last week to try to get people to go out and vote. The video was apparently a parody of a well-known TV personality. It was very well done and quite funny. Unfortunately, the TV personality and his network didn't think it was such a great idea and demanded that the video be pulled from YouTube. Now, I'm not the most techno-aware person, but even I know that once something is on YouTube, and you let people know that you want it pulled, it is going to spread like wildfire! "Oh," people say, "you don't want us to watch this? Hmm, must be a good reason...I'm going to check it out and then get all of my friends to watch too!"

You see, you just cannot stop people from doing things you don't want them to do. And you can't get them to do the other things that you really want them to do. All you can do is catch the wave and ride it to your advantage. This is so true in our everyday lives. Of course, there are times when things go exactly the way we planned them. But for all the other times, we can turn them into situations that go our way by altering our plan, by shifting the current situation to our advantage, and by being a bit creative. When things aren't quite following your plan, ask yourself: ok, so how do I make this work for me? What can I take from this situation that will move me along my path? What new ideas and thoughts come out of this that I hadn't considered before? Has this situation actually been put in front of me so that I can learn something I would have missed otherwise?

This is part of the message of being aware that so many personal growth gurus talk about. Be aware of where you want to be going, then be aware of the signs along the way that can take you there. Ride the wave that others set in front of you. Take advantage of weird and unusual situations.

Oh, and never think that you can remove something from YouTube. Even if it is physically possible, someone is bound to have created a copy and will re-post just when you have your back turned. Instead, embrace this great new way of getting info "out there" -- the possibilities of using it to your advantage are endless!

Faire la bonne chose

Je pensais ce matin...pourquoi ressent-on l'obligation de faire la bonne chose? Cette pensée vient d'une activité de la fin-de-semaine : j'ai participé aux visites d'écoles secondaires avec mon conjoint et son fils. Les écoles accueillent les élèves (et leurs parents) qui pensent peut-être s'inscrire dans le futur. Oui, le fils de mon conjoint est seulement en 5e année. Nous aurions pu attendre l'année prochaine pour visiter les écoles. Ou même s'en passer, puisque les visites n'ont fait que confirmer la liste des écoles préférées. Ça nous aurait donné un vendredi soir et un dimanche après-midi de libre pour faire toutes les autres choses sur notre liste "to-do". Mais c'était "la bonne chose" de permettre le jeune de voir pour lui-même. Même s'il a seulement 10 ans, c'est important qu'il commence à apprendre comment prendre des décisions de vie.

Alors la question : pourquoi faire la bonne chose? A-t-on un indicateur en dedans de nous qui s'allume quand c'est quelque chose d'important? Comment sachons-nous que cette chose est importante? Je pense que les réponses à ces questions se trouvent dans quelque chose qui n'est que rarement discuté ces jours-ci : nos VALEURS. Ce sont nos valeurs qui déterminent si quelque chose est assez importante pour allumer l'indicateur, pour nous réveiller, pour nous pousser à faire la bonne chose même si nous sommes fatigués, découragés ou même pas trop intéressés.

Connaissez-vous vos valeurs? Avez-vous déjà pensé de dresser une liste de vos valeurs, et de déterminer lesquelles ont une plus haute priorité? Est-ce que l'efficacité est une de vos valeurs? Est-elle plus ou moins importante que l'apprentissage de la responsabilité chez un de vos enfants? Est-ce que l'humour est une de vos valeurs? Peut-être vous êtes plus le type qui valorise le comportement sobre?

Cet exercice est intéressant puisqu'il nous permet de mieux nous comprendre. Il permet aussi de mieux suivre l'indicateur en dedans de nous. Si nous savons que le plus important, pour nous, c'est qu'un jeune apprend à prendre ses propres décisions, alors nous pourrons mieux accepter qu'il faut sacrificier une fin-de-semaine pour visiter des écoles. Si nous comprenons que l'humour est important pour nous, alors nous comprendront mieux pourquoi nous évitons des activités sérieuses. Ceci nous permet de se livrer à l'indicateur en dedans de nous, de faire confiance à cet indicateur pour nous diriger dans nos vies. L'énergie libérée par cette "livraison" pourra être mieux utilisée ailleurs.

Songs et chansons

This blog is inspired by one of my Twitter contacts, Michael Murphy (http://twitter.com/michaelmurphy1). He asked his contacts to help him come up with a list of inspiring, powerful songs. He listed a few oldies, like "You've made me so very happy" and a few newer songs like Nickelback's "If today was your last day".

It got me to thinking about the power of songs and how they can affect our moods and behaviour. Ever notice that when you're feeling down, you often put on music that makes you feel even worse? Or when you are feeling energetic, you tune the radio to an upbeat station and turn up the volume? Or when you want to create a romantic mood, the lights go down and the jazz/blues goes up?

So what if we intentionally used music to create the mood we need to be able to achieve our objectives at a particular moment in time? How about using Michael's list (as it gets populated by his Twitter friends) to give us the energy to start our day out right. Or to motivate us through a challenging task. Or to reward ourselves for a job well done.

Here are my ideas for songs:

Amanda Marshall: I believe in You

Gloria Estefan: Reach

Amanda Marshall: If I didn't have You (sing this one to yourself!)

Walking on Sunshine (I can't remember the artist)

So, today's challenge is to think of five songs that are inspiring, give you energy and put you in a good mood. Et, mes lecteurs français, aidez-moi à trouver des chansons françaises. I'm looking forward to your comments.

Have a great Wednesday!

Playing with words

I was thinking about three words this morning that have similar meanings: confidence, faith and conviction. There are subtle differences, however, in what the words evoke within us, differences that I think are uniquely interpreted by each one of us.

I decided to look up their official definitions; according to The Oxford English Reference Dictionary, I found:

confidence: firm trust, a feeling of reliance or certainty

faith: complete trust or confidence, firm belief especially without logical proof

conviction: a firm belief or opinion

Hmm, ok, so what the dictionary is saying is that faith is more pronounced than confidence, and that conviction is like faith, but seems to be more based on mental rather than emotional arguments (my interpretation of the use of the word opinion).

Why is this useful? I was speaking to a colleague the other day about making good things happen in our lives. I often struggle with how to move from intellectual understanding of this concept to actually living it. Many of us have seen the movie The Secret and you may have also done some related reading. Most of the Secret gurus recommend the "think it to make it happen" approach. But there is another step, because just thinking about what you want in life, for example, doesn't seem to be enough. You need to know that by thinking it, you will actually create it. That takes another level...is it confidence? is it faith? is it conviction? is it an action plan? is it a crystal ball?

I've come to the conclusion that perhaps it is different for each person. For some people, confidence is the step. To me, confidence equates to the thought "I can make this happen". It's about belief in oneself, knowing that we can achieve. I think this is the step for people who rely on themselves a lot to make things happen in their lives. To take a desire out of the mind and into reality, they need a strong dose of confidence.

Then there are the believers. For them, faith is the step between thinking and creating: they need to believe in order to make things happen. Plans and logical arguments aren't necessary (although they may be useful), it is simple faith that is the deciding factor.

And finally there are the practical people. Conviction is their step towards the creation of their ideal lives. For me, conviction stems from an analysis of what needs to be done and a logical conclusion that it is all possible. It is the breakdown of the desired end result into baby steps, an action plan to make it happen and a commitment to putting that plan into place. It is the thinker's approach.

Confidence, faith and conviction: all nuances of the same concept, but each relevant to a different group of people. Pick the one that works for you, in the circumstance you are working to create right now. But remember that it takes one more step beyond the thinking...take that step to make it happen!

Le but du réseautage

Augh! tout le monde fronce les sourcils quand on parle de réseautage. Pas une autre soirée où il faut faire semblant d'être intéressé dans ce que l'autre dit, de sourire pour deux heures, de trouver l'énergie pour dire, pour la centième fois, ce qu'on "fait dans la vie"!

Mais j'ai eu un expérience hier soir qui m'a fait pensé qu'il y a de l'espoir pour le réseautage. Ce n'était pas une soirée idéale, mais l'évènement approchait ce que j'ai en tête quand je pense au réseautage parfait. Parce que, finalement, le réseautage devrait être une opportunité de rencontrer du monde intéressant, des gens qui ont quelque chose en commun avec nous, et avec qui nous pouvons partager des offres et de la demande. Disons un vrai système d'échange sans toute la gène, l'angoisse et le sentiment d'avoir besoin de se montrer beau, bon, pas cher.

Le secret, je pense, c'est d'enlever la couche de prétension qui existe dans la plupart des activités de réseautage. Mon expérience est souvent celle d'une "étrange" qui rentre là où elle n'est pas la bienvenue, de rentrer en conversation avec des gens qui te parlent seulement parce qu'ils n'ont pas vu leur "gang" de réguliers. Et je trouve que souvent les contacts qu'on fait ne veulent vraiment rien échanger, ils veulent tout simplement vendre.

Mais il y a des alternatives. Un gros merci à Berel Weiner et François Douville qui nous ont forcé, hier soir, de se concentrer sur ce que nous pouvons donner et ce que nous désiront recevoir. J'ai ressenti une différente énergie dans la salle, comme si on pouvait passer au dessus de toutes les prétensions et parler des vraies choses. Oui, il y avait des choses à améliorer dans la soirée, mais au moins j'ai eu l'impression que j'ai parlé à du "vrai monde".

Alors, ne vous découragez pas! Le réseautage n'a pas besoin d'être pénible. Nous pouvons changer les règles du jeu. Je vous garderai au courant de mes expériences.

Keeping up with keeping up

You might have noticed that I haven't been blogging a whole lot lately. I think it's a symptom of something we all suffer from to some degree: it is really hard to dedicate time to keeping in touch, keeping up with our communication, keeping in tune with our personal, social and business networks.

Some people will say that things are much worse now that we have so many forms of communication at our finger tips. I'm not so sure of that. Remember the good old days when you had to pick up a pen and write out a letter to someone that you couldn't call because long distance telephone fees were so high? (ok, I admit that I'm showing my age, but it wasn't all that long ago!). How many letters did you write? I remember being away at school and at first I wrote to all my friends back home, to the people that had also moved away, and to my family. And I remember receiving letters from people. A few still are memorable, including those from my sister who used to write pages and pages and I soaked up every word! But then, people got busy, less letters were exchanged. But soon email saved the day and we fired off messages all the time. Then chat came along, wow, that was even better, like being on the phone with fifteen people at once. Now Facebook, Twitter and other social media allow us to "talk" to many people at once. Could it be easier?

Funny, though, how we fall into the same habits! We now communicate with so many people that it almost seems like a chore to open one of these Internet tools to see what people are doing. Or we risk becoming addicted, so we limit the time we spend checking out what is going on. And don't forget that almost all of the communication is one-way. Have you noticed how few times people comment on something you've posted on Facebook, or how few replies you get to your Tweets, or even how Linked In discussions rarely go beyond the first comment posted by the discussion's owner?

So, what are the positives that we can extract from these musings? First of all, I think it's worth spending a few moments to contemplate how much time we spend on true, meaningful communication that gives as good as it gets (in other words, all participants contribute and receive). How much do we whine vs help other people laugh? How much do we help vs asking for help? What is the point of communicating a piece of information: is it sharing or showing off? Then I think we should all evaluate whether the forms of communication that we are using are effective for what we wish to communicate. And finally, we should dedicate a certain amount of time to communicating, in whatever media we have chosen. Make it a habit, but one that brings you something worthwhile.

Most importantly, don't forget that behind all of this communicating are human beings who need contact in order to thrive...so contact and be contactable (is that a word?).

Équilibre Aménagement

Aujourd'hui j'aimerais parler de la puissance des références. Chaque jour, sans y penser, nous donnons des références à ceux qui nous les demandent : où devrions-nous manger ce midi, quel magasin a les meilleurs prix, où pourrais-je trouver de la farine pour faire des pizzas maison, connais-tu un bon plombier, etc.

Pour ceux d'entre nous qui sommes entrepreneurs ou propriétaires de petites entreprises, les références sont ultimement importantes. Sans références, nous sommes toujours à recommencer notre recherche pour de nouveaux clients. Nous devons sans cesse prouver que nous sommes à la hauteur de leurs attentes. Une référence vaut une fortune.

Mais souvent nous oublions de demander à nos clients de passer le mot, de partager avec leurs contacts les avantages de travailler avec nous. Oui, nous participons dans des réseaux électroniques (par exemple Linked In), mais ce n'est pas assez : il faut demander à nos clients s'ils connaissent quelqu'un qui pourrait profiter de nos compétences.

Nous oublions aussi que nous pouvons soutenir nos collègues entrepreneurs en passant des références sur eux. Alors aujourd'hui je vous en passe une : c'est Annie Richard, propriétaire d'Équilibre Aménagement. C'est une organisatrice professionnelle. Elle est aussi certifiée en Feng Shui, qui veut dire que lorsqu'elle complète un projet, vous vous sentirez tellement mieux dans votre espace, même si vous ne comprenez pas pourquoi. Elle se concentre surtout dans le milieu petites entreprises, mais elle a fait un très beau travail chez moi à la maison. Surtout Annie a la capacité d'identifier ce qu'on doit faire sans que nous nous sentons mal à l'aise. Et puisqu'elle est très bien organisée (un atout quand on est organisatrice!), elle nous met sur un horaire qui fait que le travail soit complété sans trainer les pieds.

Alors, si vous avez besoin d'organiser un espace de travail, de planifier votre bureau à la maison, de réaménager les bureaux de votre entreprise, n'hésitez-pas à contacter Annie. Son site Web est le www.equilibreamenagement.com. Et n'oubliez-pas de passer le mot si vous avez la chance!

(oh, je ne dirai pas non si vous pensez passer le mot sur mes blogs et mon entreprise)

Bonne semaine!

Monique

Maintain that vacation feeling!

You’ve just arrived home from your annual vacation. You’re relaxed, happy, rested and full of energy. And then...reality hits! You’re bombarded by all the demands of home, work and relationships. You feel as if you’re being punished for having felt so good. Here are a few tips to help you maintain that vacation feeling in the midst of the chaos that greets you:

• Follow your body’s rhythm and its need for natural sources of energy: eat fresh fruit and vegetables, and maximize the time you spend in the sunlight.
• Vacations replace responsibility with choice. Look at your daily decisions as choices rather than burdens and focus on the positive elements of each choice.
• Ever notice that you rarely meet unhappy people on vacation? Think about whom you work and play with, and make a conscious choice to surround yourself with people that are good for you.
• Rediscover the wonder of your vacation by experiencing beauty in your normal surroundings. Buy a flowering plant, visit a local art gallery, find a cafe with a view, or keep your favourite vacation photo near you.
• Often we behave differently while on vacation. Take the hint and continue behaving in this more authentic way.

Maintaining that vacation feeling will allow you to resist against the stresses of daily life in a meaningful and sustainable way. You might just find that you don’t need that expensive vacation next year!

Vacation Report

Vacations are generally viewed as reasons to "get away": either from our daily work, our regular surroundings, our routines. But vacations are also valuable opportunities to "get to" places we've never seen, have experiences we don't often have time to enjoy during the rest of the year, talk to people we wouldn't normally even notice.

On my recent week off, my boyfriend and I set off to spend a few days in Atlantic City -- not too far a drive from Montreal and you never know what we might find along the way. In fact, my best "get to" experiences happened on the way there and on the way back. Not to say that AC wasn't a great place, but I think the surprises we discovered along the way created more charming memories.

It wasn't exactly on a direct route between Montreal and Atlantic City, but we ended up the first night in New Haven, Connecticut (home of Yale University). Turns out there is a ferry near New Haven that crosses over to Long Island. Although I've travelled quite a bit of the U.S. East Coast, I had never been to there, so we decided it was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Destination: Port Jefferson, NY (see the picture above). What a great town! I highly recommend it to those of you who love spending a day wanding into quaint shops, talking to interesting people and discovering great finds (I bought these fabulous old-fashioned Christmas cards!). I especially recommend The Scented Cottage Garden, that advertises itself as a place to find "Decorative Accessories for Home and Garden". We spoke to Marge McCuen, the owner, who is a great promoter of the town and will help you enjoy your visit. She reminded us to return at the beginning of December for their Charles Dickens Festival -- now that is something that's worth putting on the calendar!

On our way back to Montreal after a few days in Atlantic City, we stopped for lunch at another great NY town: Saratoga Springs. Some of you may know that it is a thriving horse racing community, but in fact it is so much more! Fabulous old B&Bs, tons of restaurants and a huge bookstore to waste away an afternoon or two. Oh and a perfect candy shop for that last U.S. purchase before the border crossing!

So, if you are ever in the area, I recommend you check out these two towns -- definitely worth the stop, or even as a weekend destination! Remember, the "get to" is just as important as the "get away"!

The FABULOUS List

It occured to me the other day that, by habit, we live in a world of "ok". We have become so blasé by all the great people, situations, environments and things that surround us that everything seems "well, ok, but...".

I'm a great believer in the gratitude exercise that is suggested by most personal growth writers. There are a few ways of doing this, but basically you write down things you are grateful for, even on days when you feel lousy. If you have nothing to write about, you're supposed to list things like "I have two legs" (if you do) or "I woke up this morning". This is all good. But if you've ever practiced this exercise, have you ever written an entry and said to yourself "ok, yeah, I'm grateful for that, but it could be so much better" and then felt that you were trying to convince yourself that you were satisfied that this element of your life was the way it was -- that "just ok" was good enough?

One of the downsides of gratitude exercises is that they encourage us to look at the ordinary in our lives. But what about the extraordinary? We have the habit of lumping the two groups of elements into one pile, and the extraordinary, the fabulous, get totally lost in the ordinary. So I'm going to suggest a new exercise. It won't give us as long a list as the gratitude exercise. It won't necessarily make us feel good about the "ok" things in our lives. But it will help us notice the absolutely fantastic, fabulous, extraordinary things that we are all so fortunate to have. And it will help us realize that these things are truly fabulous and not simply "ok". I call this the FABULOUS LIST exercise.

My list has personal things on it that I won't necessarily share with everyone. But right near the top of my list are the three FABULOUS bookcases in my library. They are from Indonesia, I paid a sinful amount of money for them (when I had quite a bit more disposable income than I have today), they have survived a move across the country and one of my cats loves to sit on the top of the tallest one. They often go unnoticed as I walk by them from my office to the kitchen, but today, I will stop and pay attention to the dark wood grain, the intricate workmanship and remember the hard work I had completed to receive the bonus I used to pay for them.

So, there is an example of how to complete your FABULOUS LIST. I could tell you to write down one thing every day for the next 21 days ("they" say that this is the best way to create a habit). But I know that I don't have to, because once you start thinking about the fabulous things in your life, you will want to continue writing until your hand hurts. It may also inspire you to go get new FABULOUS things that you have been wanting for a long time.

Just remember: FABULOUS IS GOOD!

Zen et l'art de déchiqueter

L'été est toujours un bon temps pour faire le ménage dans toute la paperasse que nous accumulons durant l'année (et plusieurs années, si vous êtes comme moi et gardez trop de papiers trop longtemps!).

Juste avant mes vacances, j'ai fait le ménage dans mes dossiers personnels courants : les factures, les papiers d'assurance, les états de comptes de banques, etc. J'ai retrouvé un cartable qui rassemblait tous les papiers associés avec la vente de ma vieille maison et l'achat de la nouvelle en 2007. Les papiers importants (hypothèque, contrat d'achat, mis à jour de mon testament) étaient tous mêlés avec les notes de discussion, les petits bouts de papier avec une adresse de maison particulièrement intéressante, les cartes d'affaires de plusieurs agents immobiliers et les responsables de banques, etc. Après le trie, je serrai les papiers importants, jetai les papiers inutiles, mais puisque plusieurs des informations dans les documents que j'avais à jeter étaient confidentielles, j'avais une immense pile de papiers à déchiqueter.

Quelle expérience à déchiqueter tous ces souvenirs d'un temps de transition pour moi! Avec chaque papier qui disparaissait dans la machine, je sentais un fardeau se soulever de mes épaules, comme si finalement je lâchais cette ancienne vie et j'assumais complètement la nouvelle. C'était vraiment la fin de la transition pour moi, même si ça faisait 18 mois que nous avions déménagés.

Nous sommes souvent tellement pris dans les évènements de transition dans nos vies, et nous passons tellement vite aux exigences du nouveau quotidien, que nous oublions de compléter les activités de transition, de fermer la porte sur cette aventure pour passer à autre chose. C'est surtout important de compléter la transition psychologique, pour pouvoir mettre tout son énergie dans sa nouvelle vie.

L'action de déchiqueter (ou tout acte tangible qui nous démontre la fin d'une transition) nous permet de fermer cette porte. En plus, nous profitons d'un environnement plus propre, moins encombré et prêt à nous servir dans nos prochains projets. La prochaine fois que vous complétez un projet de transition, faîtes le ménage dans vos papiers et prenez le temps de déchiqueter les informations confidentielles; vous verez comment ça fait du bien!

Inspiring Books

Summertime often ends up being a time of reading for many people. Out of our routines, we take time to sit for a few hours and lose ourselves in a trashy novel, an educational piece that we've been interested in for a while, or something that inspires us to continue along our life path.

Reading is a critical element in my life. It wasn't always that way. When I was young, my sister Denise read constantly (ok, maybe that's an exageration, but it seemed like it). I wasn't all that interested in books and my reading skills at school were considered below average. Then during my university studies, reading was something you HAD to do to pass exams -- ugh! But then something happened in my thirties that I hope happens to all of you that say you don't really like reading: I found books that I was actually interested in! It's amazing how much easier it is to read when you are inspired by and enthralled with the topic!

This week, the book that has me captivated is "The Compassionate Samurai" by Brian Klemmer. What I especially like about this book is that it talks about being passionate and achieving a lot, but without having to follow the traditional behaviour of being an a**hole. You don't have to be aggressive to achieve. You can actually decide to be considerate, compassionate. You can keep your word, consider other people's feelings, take personal responsibility for the choices you have make in life.

For those of you who think this sounds interested, I highly recommend the book. For those of you who say "yeah, right, not for me", I suggest that you get out off your chair and head to your nearest bookstore or library. Look around, turn your brain off a bit and just let your eyes guide you. Trust that you will notice a book cover or a title that intrigues you. Listen to that intuition and pick up the book. Often I find that the books that have picked me are much more interesting than the ones I pick.

And for those of you far too modern to actually read a book and prefer electronic viewing, there is an extensive library of e-books available. Google "ebooks" and you will find many websites that offer several choices in whatever topic interests you.

Happy reading!

Perdre le rivage de vue

Voici une citation qui parle beaucoup de ma vie en ce moment :

"On ne peut découvrir de nouvelles contrées sans consentir à perdre le rivage de vue pendant très longtemps." (André Gide)

Nous sommes tous des humains. Et étant humain, nous avons des hauts et des bas de courage. Il y a des moments dans nos vies où nous pouvons sauter dans l'inconnu, suivre un plan de renouveau, se ramasser sur un tout nouveau chemin. C'est ce que j'ai fait il y a trois ans quand je me suis lancée dans une nouvelle profession, ma vocation. Mais après avoir travaillé longtemps sans voir un résultat satisfaisant, je me dis "oui, mais ça prend du temps à arriver à la destination finale!" En fait, j'ai dit ceci à mon chum juste l'autre jour. Et puis, comme si l'Univers savait que j'avais besoin d'une réponse, il m'a présenté cette citation. Je ne me rappelle même pas où je l'ai vu, mais c'était comme si M. Gide me parlait, à moi.

C'est vrai, il faut tout lâcher et être prêt à le faire pour longtemps avant de pouvoir arriver au nouveau rivage. Christophe Colomb savait ça. Les astronautes qui vont à la station spatiale savent ça. Mais dans notre quotidien, nous oublions que c'est vrai pour nous aussi. Nous pensons que nous pouvons retenir quelques petites choses du passé même si nous affirmons que nous voulons un futur différent. Mais non, il faut tout lâcher! Il faut sauter dans l'eau sans savoir si nous allons pouvoir nager jusqu'au rivage. Il faut CROIRE que nous allons y arriver.

Et voilà la partie difficile. Il faut croire, surtout en nous-même. Il faut savoir au plus profond de nous que nous sommes capables d'y arriver. Nous allons trouver les chemins, les solutions, les outils. Comment faire pour avoir cette confiance? Il y a plusieurs méthodes, mais voici une qui est assez facile : dressez une liste de situations et de défis dont vous vous êtes sorti. Allez, ne vous gênez pas! Faîtes une longue liste, y compris les situations qui semblent banales maintenant (oui, à 6 ans, apprendre à rouler en vélo était un grand défi!). Et gardez cette liste près de vous. Consultez-la souvent, surtout quand vous passez à travers une épreuve. Voyez que vous savez comment vous en sortir, même quand ça ne paraît pas évident.

Et surtout il ne faut pas que nous nous décourageons! Même si nous ressentons que ça prend trop de temps, que c'est trop difficile, que nous n'arriverons pas, continuons. Allons chercher de l'encouragement d'un autre qui croit en nous. Prenons des petites pauses pour se reposer. Cherchons nos sources d'énergie (voir le prochain blogue). Et rappelons-nous des mots de M. Gide, ils sont écrits pour nous.

Does the other shoe have to exist?

You know the saying "just wait until the other shoe drops"... something I heard a lot as a child (not really sure who used to say it, I just remember hearing it). To me, it always meant that even if something good was happening right now, the "other shoe", something not good, was inevitably going to happen to burst the bubble. Thinking this made me grow up to be someone who expects to be punished for good things happening.

But... what if the other shoe doesn't exist unless we create it in our minds? What if "thinking it makes it so"? Which means, logically, that not thinking it makes it not so. Why decide that I'm going to be punished for good things going on in life? Why not decide that more good things will happen? There is no statistical link between the likelihood of a good event and the likelihood of a good event (or a bad event) in the future. What happens while you read this blog has nothing to do with what is going to happen the next time the phone rings... unless you make it happen.

Worst case (if you don't believe that you can make things happen), you end up with equal odds of good and bad things happening. Best case, you create all kinds of good things in your life. And, you don't have to spend the day dreading the bad event, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You can also decide that one bad event is not going to ruin a whole day. Because the same logic says that one bad event does not trigger a series of bad events, unless you make them happen in your mind. So, you stub your toe getting out of bed? Ok, doesn't mean that you shoe lace will break as you prepare to head out the door. You rip an important document while photocopying it (yeah, that happened to me this morning)? That's not going to ruin your business meeting unless you let it.

We don't have to let this "shoe dropping" belief control our lives. We can break the habit and decide to let positive expectation into our minds. It's all part of taking control and living the way we want rather than giving up control to something that doesn't even exist.

L'illusion dans les illusions

On nous dit beaucoup ces jours que ceci ou cela est une illusion. Ça fait partie de la campagne pour nous changer tous en cyniques, pessimistes et non-croyants (en n'importe quoi). Voici quelques exemples:

• le travail d'équipe est une illusion
• les messages dans les annonces sont des illusions
• le contenu nutritionnel dans la bouffe que nous mangeons est une illusion
• les récompenses au travail (exemple, les voyages pour les meilleurs vendeurs) sont des illusions
• etc

J'essayais de penser ce matin comment vivre avec ces illusions et ne pas devenir découragée. Je suis une personne qui préfère être authentique et ne pas jouer des jeux. Mais ces jeux existent, les illusions sont là et il faut une stratégie pour passer à travers. Et c'est une période de transition dans ma vie qui m'a rappellé de ce qu'il faut faire quand on est entouré d'illusions : se créer notre propre vérité à l'intérieur de nous mais qui se présente comme illusion aux autres. Si nous sachons notre vision, nos objectifs de vie, nous pouvons utiliser ceux-ci pour transformer les illusions dans des expériences qui nous avancent sur notre chemin. Voici un exemple : vous faîtes partie d'une équipe de travail mais vous voyez bien que les autres participants et surtout le chef ne sont là que pour avancer leur carrière. Au lieu d'être dégouté et de ne pas participer, cherchez comment utiliser l'équipe pour avancer vos projets et réaliser vos objectifs. Faîtes l'illusion de participer dans l'équipe (comme les autres) mais dirigez l'équipe vers les activités et résultats qui vont vous avancer dans vos plans.

Un mot de caution : faîtes bien certains que l'illusion est vraiment une illusion et non une situation véritable. Ne soyez pas celui ou celle qui crée l'illusion pour les autres. Soyez authentique quand c'est le temps, soyez illusioniste quand l'authenticité n'a plus sa place. Faîtes aussi attention de ne pas trop jouer, c'est épuisant et vous risquez de ne plus savoir la différence entre les situations authentiques et les illusions. À jouer avec soin!

A first-rate you

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." (Judy Garland)

It is very challenging to be ourselves, especially when we are surrounded with so many messages of how to be someone else. I find this particularly difficult from a work perspective. I spent many years in a work environment that was very clear on what was desired behaviour. Work intensely, be proud and boast that you are just way too busy ("crazy busy" was our favorite expression), always have fifteen different things you are working on at the same time, show up for meetings just a little bit late (you certainly didn't want people to think that you were free to show up on time or, gasp!, early), work well past normal quitting hours ("yikes, he left at 5:45 last night, I'd better stay until 6:15"), and if you actually had the chance to work all night, well, everyone you worked with heard you complain the next day (because you CERTAINLY didn't take the next day off!).

I work very differently now, but I have a really hard time getting over the feeling that I SHOULD be working like everyone else. Since I work from home, my commute is exactly 20 seconds (from the kitchen to my office, if I walk slowly). So, do I get up at 6am, rush to take a shower and shove some breakfast down my throat to be at my computer at 6:15? Umm, no. I usually read something while I eat, to get me in the beat or inspire me on days when I spend a lot of time writing. I take lots of little breaks, especially when my cats wander into my office. Some days, I don't really take time for lunch...it seems to break my concentration. Other days, I take myself out for lunch because I do need to break my concentration to return with a fresh outlook on certain challenges. One habit I have kept from my formal office days: I tend to work late into the day before calling it quits. (this doesn't always work well when I am spread out on the kitchen table and my boyfriend wants to make dinner for his kids, but we're adapting).

As I write this, I think: hey, I've made some really positive changes. But I still feel guilty! I'm a small business owner, I should be working 18 hours a day. I should have a Blackberry or iPhone so I can check my messages constantly, wouldn't want to miss a business opportunity! I've been programmed so well on how to compete professionally, I'm having a hard time breaking the mental habit. But then I think, why did I make such a radical change in my professional life if it was not aimed at instilling some very different and individual work patterns? Am I not more productive working the way I work today? After all, I do my best thinking and writing early in the day and my best learning later in the day (I've known this since my university days). And taking small breaks to rescue my cat from his perch above the bookcase several times a day does help me stretch my back.

So rather than direct more discipline towards my work habits, I'm going to direct more discipline on my mental habit of needing to be the hardest worker. I'm going to try to simply be a first-rate me and leave the Blackberries and crazy work hours to people who work better that way.

Service à la clientèle

Ah, une autre situation qui inspire mon blogue. Nous avons tous eu de bonnes et de mauvaises expériences de service à la clientèle. J'en ai eu deux mauvaises aujourd'hui (et c'est seulement 12h30!).

Une attitude de service est importante non seulement dans un rôle formel de service à la clientèle, mais dans toutes nos relations humaines. Il me semble que c'est tellement facile de faire de petites choses pour présenter une attitude de service. Voici ma liste des "Top 10" :

1) Souriez et soyez de bonne humeur -- même au téléphone, ça fait une différence; quand vous souriez, vous influencez l'humeur de l'autre et peut-être ce sera une expérience positive pour vous deux.

2) Soyez poli -- c'est facilement oublié, mais très important; on ne peut pas dire merci, SVP ou désolé assez souvent.

3) Essayez d'anticiper les attentes de l'autre -- vous rencontrez souvent les mêmes personnes dans les mêmes situations, pourquoi ne pas utiliser votre expérience pour être préparés.

4) Aidez -- vous êtes là pour aider vos clients, pour résoudre leurs problèmes; soyez dans l'esprit d'assistance.

5) Expliquez ce dont vous avez besoin pour aider l'autre -- il/elle ne peut pas lire vos pensées, alors communiquez.

6) Concentrez-vous sur la solution globale -- pas seulement la réponse à la question immédiate; vous résoudrez la situation plus vite et efficacement.

7) Confirmez ce que vous allez faire -- communiquez votre sens de responsabilité, l'autre sera plus rassuré qu'une solution se présentera.

8) Identifiez-vous -- soit au début (Bonjour, je suis Monique, comment puis-je vous aider?) ou à la fin (Mon nom est Monique, si vous avez des questions vous pouvez toujours me contacter).

9) Remerciez l'autre pour tout ce qu'il/elle fait -- par exemple, si vous laissez un message pour quelqu'un et il/elle vous rappelle la même journée, dîtes merci.

10) Comprenez que l'autre est une personne aussi -- il/elle est humain et peut faire des erreurs comme vous; pardonnez-le.

Bon, voilà. Espérons que ma petite liste fera le tour du monde et influencera tous ceux que nous rencontrons chaque jour.

Dragons

Today's blog is inspired by Sarah Ban Breathnach (yes, she returns often because she has so many great things to say!). Here's one that is quite relevant to me right now:

"Always remember, it's simply not an adventure worth telling if there aren't any dragons." (Simple Abundance, February 16)

I guess life just wouldn't be all that fun if we didn't have any dragons to slay along the way. Without dragons, we get caught in our familiar ruts, doing the same things every day but somehow lacking that spark that makes us want to get up in the morning. Without dragons, life is just too easy.

Now, I know many of you are wishing life would just get a bit easier...maybe you have some difficult work challenges right now, or your family situation is trying, or you are dealing with an illness, or your car caught on fire last night. (no, don't laugh, this actually happened to my Mother a few years ago, fortunately she was in a store when it happened!).

But think about it...what would we talk about if we didn't have dragons along the way to make our lives a bit more interesting? What sense of accomplishment would we walk away with if everything was simple? How would we build our self-esteem if we didn't struggle and win? And how would we be able to enjoy our vacations, time off, moments of peace if we didn't have a bit of chaos to compare them to?

It's also a way to deal with the challenges that we face with a different attitude. Maybe we shouldn't dread the challenges and broach them with trepidation. Maybe we should race into the battle (with our battle gear, of course) as if we were knights in shining armour ready to fight for our princess (or prince). Perhaps it's a good reason to be in top shape physically and mentally: we need to be at our prime to take on all the dragons.

I'm going to write out a list of all the dragons that could possibly blow fire in my direction today, maybe even imagine what each one looks like. If nothing else, it'll add a bit of humour to my day!

Have a good one!

Laisser passer la lumière

Nous avons décidé de faire tailler notre haie de cèdres qui a été négligée depuis au moins 10 ans. Par hasard (c'est bon, le hasard!), un homme à tout faire a passé vendredi et nous a offert un bon prix pour le faire. Comme il avait du temps cette semaine, il est venu ce matin pour commencer ce gros projet.

Comme je fais souvent ces jours-ci, j'ai pensé à la leçon que ceci peut m'apprendre dans la vie. L'homme expliquait qu'il faut tailler le haut d'une haie, sinon la lumière ne peut pas passer à l'intérieur des plantes et elles mourront éventuellement. Ah oui, voici la leçon! Souvent nous pensons que la quantité est ce qui a de plus important dans la vie. La quantité d'information, la quantité de cartes de crédit dans notre porte-feuille, la quantité de cossins dans nos maisons, la quantité de plantes dans notre jardin... Mais peut-être il faut faire le ménage de temps en temps pour laisser passer la "lumière", que ce soit en forme de clarté de pensée, en forme de concentration d'efforts, en forme d'espace blanche sur une feuille ou dans une pièce.

Je crois que cette leçon s'applique surtout pour moi du côté informations et idées. Si j'arrive à accumuler trop d'information sur un sujet sur lequel je veux écrire, je me trouve étouffée et je ne sais pas où commencer. Mais si je trie les informations et je prends les plus importantes, je peux commencer à écrire et ensuite incorporer les autres informations après que j'ai la structure établie.

Aujourd'hui, pensons à laisser passer un peu de lumière sur nos projets. Ça sera comme si le soleil avait sorti tout simplement pour nous laisser mieux voir!

Dare something worthy

This is the English translation of the latin closing that Joe Vitale uses when he sends an email (I'm on a distribution list for some of his products). I'm not always comfortable with the content of his emails (very American hard sell), but I do find this phrase quite inspiring.

I'm attending a Sales Course this summer. I think we can all use a brush-up on our sales techniques and remind ourselves how best to serve our customers and clients. Last Tuesday the professor spoke about prospecting and reminded us that we don't have to be afraid of speaking to potential customers because we have nothing to lose: in the worst case, they don't become customers which leaves us exactly where we started (except for the experience we gained in speaking to them).

So, today's motto is "Dare something worthy" because we have nothing to lose and lots to gain. Why not take advantage of all the potentialities presented in front of us? Have you looked at the network you are building personally or electronically and acted on the opportunities that it presents to you? Have you started to resolve a difficult challenge even though it's seems impossible? Have you stepped out of your comfort zone to feel the exhilaration of doing something really scary? Here's a great example: a few years ago, a friend of mine became inspired by one of Tony Robbins' books and conquered his fear of flying by becoming a pilot. Imagine daring to take that first step and learning to love something you dreaded!

Let's get our adrenaline pumping for the right reasons today and take on the world -- after all, hasn't it been waiting for us?

C'est naturel d'être bien

Mon travail dans le bien-être comprend les domaines de la gestion, de la psychologie, du coaching et de la santé. Ceux qui me connaissent savent que depuis 2005 je prends des vitamines et antioxidants régulièrement, ce qui me permet d'être bien même si j'ai des défis physiques. Mais, comme tout être humain, j'ai des moments de manque de discipline et la semaine passée, j'ai oublié de prendre mes vitamines 3 jours de suite. Après d'avoir repris ma routine, j'ai remarqué comment nous pouvons oublier ce que c'est d'être bien quand nous ne le sommes pas.

Nous avons le droit d'être bien. Ce n'est pas naturel d'être "pas bien", il ne faut pas accepter autre chose que le bien-être total. Et ceci dans tous les aspects de nos vies. Nous avons tellement à accomplir dans la vie! Nous ne devons pas arrêter notre progrès parce que nous avons mal au dos, ou que nous avons une peur, ou que nous ne sommes pas organisés, ou que nous n'avons pas pris le temps d'établir une vision et un plan tactique. Je le répète : nous avons le droit d'être bien.

Ayons le courage d'insister à être bien. Vous avez un problème physique et votre docteur ignore comment le résoudre? Faîtes vos propres recherches et partagez-les avec votre médecin, insistez qu'il ou elle trouve une réponse! Vous ressentez un défi psychologique? Cherchez de l'aide, trouvez un professionnel qui peut vous remettre sur le bon chemin! Vous manquez de temps pour réaliser tous vos rêves? Abandonnez vos soirées en avant de la télé et donnez-vous le défi d'accomplir une activité par jour qui vous avance vers la réalisation de votre vie idéale! Vous avez des difficultés en affaires? Il y a beaucoup de conseillers et de livres/blogs/sites web à consulter -- allez-y!

Ne vous sentez surtout pas coupable de n'avoir pas fait ceci auparavant! Peut-être c'est qu'on ne vous a jamais dit que vous aviez le droit d'être bien...

Taking the high road

Normally I alternate between French and English posts. But I couldn't find a good translation for the title of this blog, so I figured I'd write it in English.

Taking the high road: typically means that you should not let the behaviour of someone else negatively affect your behaviour; don't get dragged into a fight or petty behaviour, act according to your values.

I had a chance to do this last week, and I'm proud to say that I passed the test. It's not an easy thing to do, and I have to admit that I've probably passed up quite a few opportunities in the past to take the high road...but at least this time I acted according to my conscience. Some people will say that I'm a sucker, others that this shows weakness. I'm actually quite proud of myself.

So, you're probably saying to yourself: what is she talking about? What is she so proud of? Well, a few months ago I had some business dealings with an individual that left me feeling like he was, well, taking advantage of me. Not unusual in today's business environment, but I was left with a pretty bad taste in my mouth. I was under the impression that we were going to do business together and I am now quite convinced that he was under a totally different impression, even though he stated otherwise (I'm still not sure what he thought, but I don't put any energy towards thinking about it anymore).

Last week I was reading a book that had some information that I knew this person was looking for. He had specifically asked me if I had this information. I didn't at the time, but tucked the request away in case I came across something useful. And I finally did find the information last week. It took a few minutes to dawn on me that what I was reading would be really useful for this person.

So, what did I do? Did I tell myself in a self-satisfying way "ha, you see, if you had continued to work with me, you would have this info now!"? Or maybe send him an email saying "I've found the info you are looking for, why don't you pay me to summarize it for you"? Nope, I simply sent him an email with the title of the book, the author's name and other information that he could use to find the book.

What's so "high road" about this? Well, he needed info and I provided it. No expectations of a response, or a renewed interest in doing business, just an answer to a question. I know that someday this act will be rewarded. I do believe in the saying "What goes around, comes around." So today, if you happen to be in a situation where you could get dragged into behaviour that doesn't align with your values, remember to take the high road...you won't regret it!

Have a great week!

The end of an era

It occurred to me while pondering the deaths of so many media stars over the last week or so. Think about it: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and a few others. Even Karl Malden (remember him in the American Express commercials?). It's the end of an era, the shoulder-pad era. Ok, I'm being a bit facetious (yes, I have to admit, I HAVE worn major shoulder pads), but I do have a point to make.

I sense that we've been moving towards a new way of being and it makes me pretty nervous. In the 80s and even in the 90s, people spent quite a bit of energy trying to be cheerful. Music was pretty upbeat (yes, there is a something redeeming about disco!), models smiled, clothes were colourful, sidekicks on TV laughed. It was all pretty superficial, but at least people made an effort to pick themselves up at some point in their day. To look for something positive, happy, cheerful.

I'm afraid that today we're on a whole different track. Recession, swine flu, recalled meat... Look at the TV we watch (for those who still watch TV): it's SO depressing! People getting voted off or fired, or couples with way too many children spend an hour screaming at them, or animated shows putting forward idiots as heroes (ok, maybe that one isn't so new!). News stations only talk about bad things. Here's a thought: both Canada and the U.S. have had elections in the past year, which means that a large portion of these populations CHOSE their leader (which we forget is a privilege compared to other parts of the world). And all we talk about is how they are failing! (Don't get me wrong, I don't always agree with everything that the leader of my country does, but I do respect the democratic process and have decided that if I want things done differently I have to get involved.)

But my point goes further than this. We assume things will go wrong: we don't trust that people will meet us at an appointed time and place, so we text them when we get there in case; we ignore most of the emails we receive because we assume that they are spam; we don't answer the phone, it must be a telemarketer; we let our love ones know we care by updating our Twitter or Facebook or by sending canned email messages that threaten their happiness if they don't forward them to 15 other people in the next 2.5 minutes. It's all very sad.

However, I've decided to change this. I'm going to make sure that I do at least one happy thing every day. I'm going to look at pictures of puppies on the Internet, or I'm going to talk to someone and smile at them (yes, in person!), or I'm going to dance in the middle of my living room to great music (sorry, it'll probably be from the 80s). And I want you to commit to doing the same thing. After all, one happy thing a day isn't so hard, is it? Think of what might happen if everyone did this -- we might create a new era of happiness...a real one this time!

Et si tout ceci était normal

Je travaille beaucoup ces jours-ci sur les alternatives à la gestion continuelle de crise... on dirait que tout devient une crise et on réagit comme s'il fallait paniquer. Pour ceux d'entre vous qui suivent le progrès de mon livre "Drown or Surf: Riding Life's Tidal Waves" ("Surfer les tsunamis de la vie" en français), vous savez le cycle dont je parle.

Je cherche des trucs et des idées pour aider les gens à éviter cette réaction instantanée. Voici une petite idée, une phrase que nous pouvons nous dire immédiatement quand nous ressentons la réaction de panique jaillir en nous : "... et si tout ceci était normal?". Cette pensée déclenche une réaction complètement différente de la panique. Nous pensons aux situations que nous avons vécues qui sont semblables, nous nous rappelons des solutions que nous avons trouvées pour ces situations, nous sommes calmes, nous sommes en mode "actions planifiées" plutôt qu' "activitiés poule-pas-de-tête". Notre réaction physique est différente aussi... nos palpitations diminuent, notre respiration retourne à la normale, nous pouvons réfléchir et prendre des décisions rationnelles.

Voici un exemple : la banque m'appelle pour fixer une rencontre. Réaction de panique : il a dû se passer quelque chose dans mes comptes, je n'ai plus d'argent, ils veulent renégocier mon hypothèque à un taux moins favorable, les compagnies de cartes de crédit veulent saisir tous mes biens...augh!!!!! Mais si je me dis "... et si tout ceci était normal?", je peux chercher à comprendre comment les rencontres avec les clients font partie d'une journée NORMALE de la gérante de la banque... peut-être elle veut essayer de me vendre leurs services de conseils en placement; ou bien je constate que c'est la mi-février et elle veut que je contribue à des REERs; ou tout simplement qu'elle a un quota de clients à voir chaque mois et c'est mon nom sur le dessus de sa liste. Parce que tout cela est normal.

Il ne faut jamais oublier que les situations normales sont beaucoup plus communs que les crises. Alors la prochaine fois que vous vous trouvez dans une situation de panique, arrêtez pour un moment et demandez-vous "... et si tout ceci était normal?".

Authenticity

Here it is, the Secret, the world's Most Powerful Sales Tool, your Key to Success, the Answer to all your Dreams.... (sorry, I love sarcastically mimicking those headlines that are supposed to catch our attention and get us to buy whatever the latest slick salesman is trying to sell us).

But honestly, I learned a big lesson over the weekend. The most important, and seemingly rare, tool that you can use to achieve what you want is authenticity. Be real, follow the facts (instead of choosing the facts that suit you), be honest, be you. One of the few benefits of this over-informed society is that we have become extremely sensitive to "BS", we can smell it a mile away. You want a quick way to turn people off of your product or service, or become disinterested in whatever you are trying to get them interested in? Pretend that your purpose has absolutely nothing to do with what your true intention is. Keep your intention vague, use words like "opportunity", pretend that your values are aligned with the other's values. But be careful, because once the other person figures you out, which will happen in approximately 0.5 seconds after you start saying what you really want to say, you have lost more than just a sale or a potention partner. You have lost this person's respect and any opportunity to form a relationship with them.

What is scary, however, is that people have become accustomed to operating this way. It is so much easier to be slick, to hide behind a facade, to skip over contradictory details. After all, people aren't that smart, are they? And sadly, the rest of us have become used to being treated that way. So, how can we use this to our advantage? Be different! Be authentic. Be up front about our purpose and intentions. If the other person isn't interested, fine, it gives us more time to find someone who is interested. And if they do show interest, even better, because we can get to the heart of the matter without having to sidestep the awkwardness associated with the initial deception.

So here I am, trying to be authentic this morning. I hope you enjoy my blog, because I want you to want more; I want you to get something positive out of this so that you tell others about my blog and maybe they'll read it; and once I publish my next book, maybe you'll be curious enough to buy it and enjoy it enough to recommend it to others. And if not, I hope that you get enough out of this blog to make the world a better place.

Thanks for reading me!

Courriel débordé

J'ai 434 courriels dans le fichier que j'ai appelé "À lire"; ce sont des courriels que je reçois qui sont soit des info-lettres, soit des infos sur un nouveau livre à lire, une nouvelle technique que quelqu'un de mon réseau m'envoie, ou bien des annonces de produits ou services que je n'ai pas immédiatement mises à la poubelle.

434 courriels d'au moins 3 à 4 paragraphes à lire! Et ça n'inclue même pas les courriels que je dois adresser tout de suite. Je me suis dis l'autre jour : si j'ai tellement de courriel à lire, ça doit être la même chose pour beaucoup d'entre vous à qui je m'adresse. Mais comment se faire écouter dans une telle averse d'information? Et surtout comment conseiller les gens qui cherchent une façon de sortir d'une situation apparemment impossible? Faut-il attendre que l'ordinateur saute pour dire "bon, alors, je n'ai pas eu la chance de lire tout ça mais au moins mon courriel n'est plus plein!" ?

Je pense que nous devons activement gérer notre courriel comme tout autre partie de notre vie débordée. Nous devons choisir avec soin les courriels que nous gardons pour lire "plus tard" selon nos objectifs immédiats. Et tout le reste doit être effacer immédiatement. N'oubliez-pas que la plupart des informations qui nous sont envoyées peuvent être trouvées plus tard si nous en avons vraiment besoin -- l'Internet nous donne cette capacité magique!

Première étape: savoir quels sont vos objectifs immédiats (écrivez-les même sur un papier que vous garderez près de l'ordinateur). Ensuite, chaque fois que vous recevez un courriel maintenant, vérifiez si le titre est associé à un de vos objectifs actuels; sinon, DELETE. Et puis mettez du temps dans votre agenda pour lire ceux qui sont importants.

Je viens juste de trier mes 434 courriels : ma liste compe maintenant 105 courriels à lire... pas pire!

Bonne fin de la semaine!

Dear Earthly Powers

Dear Earthly Powers: would it be possible to move the summer solstice to July 21st instead of June?

I was having breakfast with my friend Michel this morning and we got on to the subject of the longest day of the year. Now, this may not be true for other parts of the world, but we decided that it was a shame that the longest day of the year is so EARLY in the year. After all, we haven't had a chance to enjoy the long days yet, and they are already getting shorter! Wouldn't it make more sense to have it in the middle of what we consider summer, say July 21st instead?

It's a good reminder that we need to stop often to consider the good things happening in our lives right now, enjoy them, and take advantage of the benefits that these good things bring to us so that they don't pass us by too quickly. Sure, maybe it's tough to stay out a bit later these days because we still have to get up early in the morning, but just remember how it feels to eat both breakfast and supper in the dark during the month of December. We need to enjoy the daylight and the warmth and well, as the saying goes, we'll sleep when we're dead.

Another thought to push us to enjoy what we have: since having made recent contact with some people in Australia, it hit me that it is winter for them. So they have really short days right now. We need to enjoy our long days so that our energy can be transmitted out to them to keep them going until things get a bit brighter. The same goes for other benefits that we enjoy...we need to build up energy so that we can share with others who may not have quite enough today.

All this having been said, I'm leaving you now to enjoy my lunch outside. It might be a bit cloudy, but there is a nice breeze and the birds are chirping (might as well enjoy them since they woke me up at 4:30 this morning!). Before you go back to what you were doing, though, think of one benefit you have received today that might not be there tomorrow. And enjoy it!

Être bien dans sa peau

J'ai complété récemment la lecture d'un livre extraordinaire. C'est "Être bien dans sa peau" du Dr. David D. Burns ("Feeling Good" est l'original en anglais). Merci à Serge de me le passer. J'écrirai plusieurs blogs sur ce que j'ai appris, ceci étant le premier.

Le sujet d'aujourd'hui c'est que notre valeur n'est pas égale à nos réalisations. Selon le livre, croire que notre valeur vient de ce qu'on a réalisé est "une attitude défaitiste, grossièrement inexacte et malfaisante". Quand on y pense, le Dr. Burns a raison. Si on pense que nos réalisations sont la seul source de valeur, ça voudrait dire que quelqu'un qui n'a pas réalisé quelque chose récemment ne mérite pas notre respect et admiration! Ce n'est certainement pas vrai...prenons le Dalaï Lama comme exemple: non, il n'est pas capable de réaliser l'indépendence de son peuple en ce moment, mais est-ce que ça veut dire qu'il ne mérite pas notre respect pour ses efforts et sa philosophie?

Pensons à l'argument opposé maintenant. Ceci voudrait dire qu'un personne qui réalise quelque chose mérite automatiquement notre respect et admiration. Et Adolf Hitler? Il a réalisé beaucoup, cependant je ne suis pas certaine qu'il a l'admiration de beaucoup de personnes.

Bon, alors si notre valeur ne vient pas de nos réalisations, est-ce que ça veut dire qu'il ne faut pas d'objectifs et de buts? Non, mais ces objectifs et buts pourraient devenir des outils à arriver au bien-être au lieu d'être des fouets avec lesquels on se frappe quand on n'arrive pas à réussir. On peut souhaiter à réaliser des buts qui nous rendent heureux, nous apportent des nouvelles connaissances, nous donnent du plaisir, nous aident à développer des nouvelles aptitudes.

C'est à considérer......