This person left me a frantic email (with lots of background noise) telling me to stop sending emails with embedded images, instead to send attachments. I thought he might be talking about the newsletter that I have been sending recently, but I thought it strange since I hadn't sent out a newsletter in a few weeks. His voice mail message was very aggressive, in the tone you would use when a telemarketer keeps calling you even though you have told them to take you off their calling list.
I called him back to understand what was going on. As far as I was concerned, I hadn't done anything to piss him off (I checked and he isn't even on my newsletter distribution list). When we spoke, he started talking about a project that had absolutely no relevance to my business. He had obviously mistaken me for someone else. He was so entranced by his frustration that he was convinced that he was working with me on this project. I corrected him and wished him good luck in finding whoever it was that he needed to talk to about this annoying email.
After I hung up, I got to thinking: what would make someone so frustrated about an email that he would get confused about who he was working with? And to be so rude to someone over the phone before even checking his details? I guess I could say that this person has no manners and is the kind of person who treats others like mud. But honestly, I don't think that it's as simple as that.
This fits in with the theories I've been spelling out in the book I am currently writing. People are caught up in a cycle of negativity and crisis. Everything is a disaster and you have to panic and do something, anything, to make it right again. Make a call, leave a voice mail, send an email response...augh!!!!!!!!!!! do something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and then when you get it wrong, you beat yourself up and look for the next crisis to redeem yourself. Yikes!
Instead, why don't we stop for just a minute. Yep, I am taking a whole 60 seconds out of your day. Take a few deep breaths. Did you know that research has shown that just three deep breaths sends enough additional oxygen to your brain for you to think more clearly? Then look at whatever is causing you to panic in light of your objectives (for the day, for the week, for the month) and ask yourself: "ok, is this a big deal?". Sure, some things are big deals and you will have to address them quickly before they cause major damage. But so many other will not be. Not worrying about them will free up more than enough energy to address the big deals properly.
Try it, just once, and let me know what comes of your experiment. Suggest it to others that you work and live with when they come to you in a panic. I'd love to hear your feedback on this!
