Quite a few years ago, I was listening to a friend talk about her personal relationship. She was struggling with the decision to either stay with her boyfriend and get married, or else just walk away. She knew that the status quo wasn't working for her, but she simply didn't know which answer was right for her. I reminded her that I had been in a similar position a few years earlier and then some powerful words came out of my mouth: "don't worry about the decision, when you are ready you will be able to make it, but for now you are just not ready yet". (Don't you find it amazing how we are able to say wise things and often don't even know where they come from? hmm, topic for another blog...)
This "being ready" concept is a complex one. You can't create readiness inside of you. You can't make yourself ready for important decisions or critical actions. You can prepare, of course. You can plan and set up timetables. But you can't force yourself. Sometimes we simply need to sit back after all the preparation and wait. Wait for the right time, the right feeling, the oh-so-critical inspiration, the pieces to fall into place, but mostly wait for ourselves to WANT to make that decision or take that action.
Waiting takes patience, something I am not known for. I feel like waiting to be ready seems like wasting precious time. What if this great opportunity passes me by? What if the decision gets made for me while I am waiting to be ready to make it? How can I waste valuable time waiting when I could be using it to all the things I need to do once my decision is made? Why can't I just decide that I am ready now?
But waiting takes something more than patience. It takes (oh, yes, here it comes again!) believing. Believing that things will turn out right once we become ready and make that decision or take that action. That the right opportunities will not have passed us by. That the time spent becoming ready wasn't wasted. It allowed us to build valuable energy and gain useful knowledge and experience. It gave others a chance to learn about our decision or action and prepare to help us.
So next time you feel like you are trying to force yourself to make a decision or take action, ask yourself: am I truly ready for this? What does my gut say? Am I ready but just nervous, scared or lazy? Or am I really just not ready? Trust your intuition, and if you decide that you are not ready, put your decision or action aside. Then, rather than wasting your time worrying that you are not moving forward, ask yourself what might help you become ready. For example, maybe you need to talk about your decision or action with someone that might clarify what is bugging you about it. Or maybe you need to learn more about something related to the decision or action. Or maybe you need to be in a less stressful state. Be patient with yourself and one day you will wake up and say "ok, now I'm ready, let's get on with this!".
