Are you lucky?

(In line with this Positive Energie blog, I'm taking a Positive Psychology course this summer. You'll notice that some of my blogs are inspired by the lectures and readings that I'm experiencing. Hopefully I can pass along some of what I'm learning!)

We all know someone who is lucky. It doesn't matter what they are doing or where they are, they always seem to have luck on their side. They win the golf tournament because of a fluke shot that rolls into the cup on the 18th hole. They always seem to have a winning ticket in the local charity lottery. They meet interesting people that just happen to have a business opportunity that fits perfectly with their skills.

In the early 2000s, Richard Wiseman created the "Luck Project" to investigate why some people are lucky while others seem to be followed by the grey cloud of bad luck. Studies, and real-life experience had shown that luck has a huge impact on our lives. So he wanted to know if there was a way that we could increase the amount of good luck that we encountered, thereby living the enchanted lives we saw others living.

The great thing is, we can! Professor Wiseman found that there are four basic principles that lucky people follow, whether consciously or unconsciously. Lucky people:

• notice chance opportunities, and often go out of their way to create them; then they jump on the positive aspects of these chance opportunities to better their lives;
• listen to their intuition while making decisions (unlucky people tend to make decisions following only logical reasoning);
• have positive expectations which allows them to create self-fulfilling positive prophecies;
• interpret bad events more positively than unlucky people; they compare them to the worst possible outcome, determining that they were "lucky" and things could have been worse; unlucky people compare bad events to better outcomes and get discouraged because things could have been so much better.

So, what does this mean for the rest of us? We can learn to bring more good luck into our lives by following the behaviours of lucky people. For example, we can go out of our way to encounter chance opportunities by changing our routines. Go out and meet new people, visit unusual places, frequent different restaurants and take up new hobbies. Research has also shown that higher levels of anxiety can reduce our ability to notice unexpected opportunities. So in new environments, try to relax and take in what is going on around you. Look for the opportunity within the new experience.

Another behaviour that we can adopt is to consider bad events in a positive light. Deciding that you have been lucky even in the most challenging situations helps you have a positive outlook. Caught in traffic? Well, at least it's not you in the accident that caused that lane to be closed. Didn't do well on an exam? It's ok, since you didn't fail the mid-term, you might still be able to pass the course. Broke your grand-mother's antique clock? It could have dropped on her foot and put her in the hospital, so at least she's got her health.

So, let's think of ourselves as lucky, and we'll become lucky!

p.s. if you are interested in learning more, Richard Wiseman's book "The Luck Factor" was published in 2003 and should be available at your favorite bookstore.

Because I have to

Why? We ask ourselves this question so many times and for so many different reasons. I wrote about "why" a few posts ago when speaking about Simon Sinek's book "Start with Why" (which I am really enjoying, by the way!). That "WHY" was the one that talks about our reason for being, whether it's being in life, being in business, etc.

The "why" I'm mostly focused on this morning is why I bother to do things, say things, behave a certain way when the chances of my behaviour being able to change the people or circumstances in my life are slim to none. I experienced this last night.

I have very strong beliefs about appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. I believe in old-fashioned values like respect, consideration, tact, manners, fairness...I could go on, but I think you get the drift. I have made some life choices in the last few years that reinforce those values. In particular, I now insist on a life experience that promotes those values.

Of course, when you live with four other people, and you interact with society at large, you cannot ensure that others will follow these values. And last night, I voiced my frustration by saying that I was just wasting my time trying to get the world to cooperate with my way of thinking. After all, what was the point in trying to insist on getting appropriate customer service at the car dealership? They just want our money and have no intention of providing good customer service. And what was the point in trying to discourage my spouse's teenagers in experiencing violence on TV and in video-games when I have no control over this when they are not in the house? And why should I expect that people will respond to my email messages when society's demands leaves them no time for real communication?

Why? well, because I have to. Because I'm made that way. It goes back to my big "WHY". Because my reason for being on this planet is to transform the ordinary into extraordinary. And that applies not just for the people I interact with, it also applies to me. I want to live an extraordinary life. I need to live an extraordinary life. And sorry, but all those who interact with me will just have to accept that they will be part of this extraordinary experience.

So, yes, I will continue my "crusade". I will keep on insisting on table manners, on respect for me as a customer or supplier, on excitement when I present my ideas, on responses when I communicate. Those that don't want to be part of this extraordinary-ness are welcome to get off the bus. But those that choose to stay on the bus are allowed to expect extraordinary from me.

So, back to my extraordinary existence. I hope you have an extraordinary week too!